Sometimes, that date that you’ve waited for so long turns into a nerve racking nightmare.
Most of us have been there, and try not to fall into those traps, but find ourselves back there time and time again.
So, it’s always a good idea to be mentally prepared with the do’s and don’ts.
What makes a date a nightmare is that we find ourselves stuck, many times with small, but yet uncomfortable embarrassments.
Picture me going to the bathroom and then walking back to my table with a stream of urine running down my pants.
I know you identify!
So, keep reading because I’m going to give you some good tips for the first date.
First date tip nº1: Save Dinner For Your 3rd Date
Some guys who finally get a “yes” for a date, go all out and plan a 5 star extravaganza…wait, not so fast!
In order to make your first date a pleasant experience, it’s not a good idea to dine at a fancy place, no matter how much its recommended, and for several good reasons:
- The dining scenario is not the ideal place for chemistry to emerge.
- Dining at a prestigious place is too proper, and instead of vibing off of each other, you’re gonna find yourself confronting dining etiquettes, it’s too much pressure.
Now you’re pulling chairs, putting a big white heavy napkin on our lap and deciding what fork to eat with first, and then finally trying to order an appetizer in a French accent.
Forget about fancy places that’ll put you in a position to be too watchful over everything.
I always have the luck that, the more careful I am, the more chances that wine will spill on me, or I am talking with mayonnaise on my mustache.
One thing that irritates me is when food gets stuck in my tooth, and then finds myself busy planning out a way to discreetly get a toothpick back into my mouth while she is not looking, or worse, talking with a piece of spinach on a tooth.
These are situations that can be funny on the 3rd date, but almost never on the 1st, plus dinners can take a long time and cause blocks of empty time.
First date tip nº2: Make Your Conversation Interesting
When people meet for the first time, there is usually a latent, boring and logical period of questions asked like: where are you from? What do you do? etc.
However, relationships are not logical; they are emotional.
I suggest doing things that’ll get her smiling, like I usually ask.
“So what brings you out on a date with a guy like me?”
Some other emotional question are:
“Tell me one of the things that you fear the most, other than a first date?”
“What’s your ultimate goal in life?”
“What was the best party that you went to, during your college years?”
At this level, your date will resort to good memories, and values instead of questions like “where were you born?”
Fitness and healthy habits always work.
Your first date should be pleasant, and should encompass all the wonderful things life has to offer.
Asking her to share pleasant things will also help you gather how she gets along with life. If you see that she dries up, and doesn’t have a spark for life, then I advise you to help her if you can, and then run lol.
Negative people are unable to see their life in amazing ways, however love is blind, so if you already fell for her then, then be there for her.
First date tip nº3: Don’t Be Afraid To Change Places
Maybe your date is not going well because the atmosphere is not right.
A good atmosphere is very important, as it is decisive for the type of mood you will have.
For example, if you are at a loud bar trying to hear each other out, then your mood will change accordingly, also a cold restaurant will change your mood.
Instead of accepting it, change the mood by going to a different place.
First date tip nº4: Turn A Nightmare Into Fun
This may sound strange, but if your date is sour, like with someone that you know for sure you won’t see again, then that’s the time you can start having fun!
At this point, nothing matters, you won’t be afraid of failing, you don’t need to avoid certain topics, and you are open to ask things that you would never ask on a first date, you can pick your nose or whatever.
Use this as practice to build your dating skills!
You’ll also learn that, you can always be yourself, as you’ll see that most of the things that you do (which you wouldn’t normally do had you liked her) will be taken in good cheer.
Here, you can attempt getting a kiss from her, and maybe more! as rejection won’t matter much, but make sure you don’t lead her on.
First date tip nº5: Be Honest
It’s easy to sense when a date is uncomfortable, and instead of coping with it,
It’s best to be honest.
You can be honest during a moment, where your conversation turns awkward, or if you catch yourself or her acting fidgety.
If you or she feels awkward, you’ll both know it, so It’s best to let it out of the bag, rather than trying to avoid the big pink elephant in the middle of the room.
Simply admitting that you are feeling awkward, or pointing out that she is feeling awkward will relieve tension.
Sometimes, clumsiness or nervousness could not mean anything, but rather that the “the date” itself makes you or her nervous, so at the same time, don’t jump into conclusions too soon, considering that the date is not going well etc.
Say something like, “I’m so sorry, I’m really nervous, I haven’t had a date in a long time, but I’m really enjoying talking to you.”
In other words, be true to your feelings, this will help steer the date in the right direction.
First date tip nº6: Don’t Lead Her On
There is nothing worse than walking out of a date confused.
So, If you know that things are not looking good, it best to just spill the beans, kindly saying something like:
“I’m having a good time, but I think we’re looking for different things, or you can make the best of your date, and let it drift away.
In other words, don’t make false promises, like making futuristic events etc, if you already know things are not going to go further.
First date tip nº7: Don’t Drag Things Out
If you have decided to cut the date short, then do so!
No need to pretend that you have a stomach ache, or forgot to feed your cat.
Some of the things we do.. like, having a friend call us with an “emergency” or sabotaging the date, is played out, and read into easily.
This one can be tough, because we don’t want to hurt feelings, although honestly it’s just best saying some thing like:
“Look, this is not working, I would rather leave.”
However, sometimes being blunt is not that easy.
First date tip nº8: Don’t Put Up With Bad Behavior
While it’s good to make the best out of a date, at the same time, do not tolerate bad behavior.
Just because it’s a date, doesn’t mean that you are bound to anything.
If you see that she is old fashioned, who expects you to pull chairs etc, continue to be yourself, and then steer clear, because you won’t be able to make good on the date anyway, if you both are coming from different places.
This also applies for your date, who is actually out on a date with her mobile phone.
You don’t have to tolerate anything that annoys you.
First date tip nº9: Turn Your Sour Date, Into An Asset
If your date (who you met through Friends with benefits) is not right for you, however you feel that your friend Tony would love her, then perhaps work out a way for her to meet Tony.
This is a simple as saying “man, I think I have the perfect guy for you”
This can actually propel you into being great friends, and drive you into a great conversation.
First date tip nº10: Don’t Blame Yourself, Rather Congratulate Yourself
Oftentimes, many who experience a bad date, end up blaming themselves, saying things like “I’m a loser” “why me”? etc don’t do it!
Some fall into a depression over failed dates!
Your date should always be seen as training for subsequent appointments, never as the World Cup Dating Finale.
Instead, learn to be kind to yourself, and see whatever as a blessing.
Feeling OK about dates, who has turned you down, is exactly the same as when you turn them down, we play a fair share in breaking hearts too, so learn to deal with the unpredictable.
Instead of feeling as though, you wasted time / effort / money with her etc, take it as a good thing like perhaps seeing at as: “you now have some extra play money to do something else with”
Remember: married people will always tell you to enjoy the freedom that you have, so handle failed dates with good cheer, taking the good times with the bad.
Ten Signs a First Date Went Well
After flirting with a girl on Friends with Benefits and talking to her for a few days, you went on a first date. In the end, all you want to know is whether it went well or not.
However, you are not sure if the girl really had a good time or if she was just being polite.
There are people who resort to white lies so as not to offend…
Not that they teach this kind of thing in school. So how can you tell if your first date was a success and if she wants to see you again?
We explain it below.
Signs of a good first date
Sometimes, and for many reasons -although the main one is shyness- people say things without saying them directly.
That’s why you have to know how to read between the lines. Especially if we are talking about a first date.
So, how to know if a date went well?
1. She has not been distracted by things outside the date
One of the most curious properties of time, or our perception of it, is that if we are having a good time, it flies. On the contrary, if we are getting bored, it goes by very slowly.
So if you catch yourself -or you catch her- looking at the clock or distracted by things that have nothing to do with the date, like the cell phone, things are not going well.
2. Signs of a good first date: body language
The body speaks louder than words in many cases. If you want to know if the other person was interested in you, look at how their body behaves. If she leans towards you while you speak, if she looks you in the eye and if she smiles or laughs when you say something.
So, on the contrary, if the date has felt short even though it was long, it is one of the signs of chemistry on first date.
3. The goodbye
It is as important as the date itself. How did you say goodbye? Do not just pay attention to the words, because she can tell you the same thing whether she wants to see you again or if she does not want to hurt you and prefers not to go out with you again.
It’s better if you analyze if she decides to set a day for another date. Maybe she comments on things like a place she’d love to visit, a food she hasn’t tried, or a movie she hasn’t yet seen.
Those are signs a first date went well. Especially if you both talk about what day of the following week is good for both of you to see each other again, it would be logical to think that there will be a second date.
Someone who doesn’t want to see you again isn’t going to suggest new plans.
4. How do you know if your date went well: she starts the contact again
People generally don’t contact people they don’t want to communicate with. So if a couple of days after a first date she texts you to chat, that’s a good sign the date went well.
Positive messages, of course. If she sends you something like “please don’t contact me again in any way” it doesn’t matter if she initiates the contact.
It is what could be called a preventive message. Instead, if she asks you things like “Hi, how are you?” or “Hi, what are you doing?” that is a very good sign.
These kinds of messages are a way of telling you that they had a good time with you without saying it.
That’s the moment you realize it was worth all the time you spent chatting with her on the dating website where you met.
5. She laughs at your jokes
If she laughs at your jokes, it’s almost a sure sign of attraction. If she laughs at your jokes and you know very well that you are less funny than a dumb gravedigger, well, boy, it is clear, right?
Humor is almost always a sign of some kind of attraction and can make a first date very successful.
If she genuinely likes your sense of humor, she will want to see you again.
There is nothing better than laughter. It’s a sign that you’re having a good time. And that’s the point of a date: to have a good time.
6. She asks you out
This is a major problem and more common than you think. The problem is that many men don’t realize that, on many occasions, the way women ask men out is different. She won’t tell you directly that she wants to ask you out.
She’s much more likely to simply ask what you’re doing this weekend or mention an upcoming event.
She wants you to take it from there. Don’t let her down.
7. You kiss
If you went for the kiss and it was reciprocated, it means that she wanted to kiss you and, therefore, it is a way of telling if your first date went well.
This should be obvious, but it is not. You have no idea how many guys don’t understand that a girl won’t kiss a guy back if she doesn’t like him that much.
Nowadays, the best thing is that you ask. It may seem strange and childish to older people to ask if you can kiss them, but that’s the way it is now.
And it’s OK.
At one point, asking -be original- if you can kiss her, will make you seem tender, polite, vulnerable and sure of yourself at the same time.
Also, a polite “this is not the time” is much better than having them turn their face away or back down, which is pretty humiliating and always forces a “sorry” that will cut it short. And a lot.
So how do I know if a date went well ? The answer is simple. One of your mutual friends told you that she told her she had a great time.
That’s a successful first date.
If you have a friend in common and she is the one who gives you the news, it is because things are really serious but your date is too shy to admit it, or has doubts about whether you feel the same.
It’s time to seduce that woman with all your weapons, go for her.
Social networks are hotbeds of information, direct and indirect. If your date starts giving you likes and hearts, it may be a sign that they like you and want to go on a second date. Beware, not all the people who give you likes or hearts are trying to tell you something beyond that they like a specific publication. On the other hand, if she sends you private messages to talk to you, that’s another good sign.
9. She is everywhere
If you never saw her anywhere before and now you run into her from time to time in the places you normally frequent, it is a sign that she likes you, therefore, the first date went well.
The exception to this is if, for some reason – new job, moving house – she lives closer to you now.
Even if it’s a lot of chances, it can happen.
10. You no longer see her on our Friends With Benefits dating site
If you met through our page and you see that she no longer connects, she is not interested in meeting new people. And that is a sign of a great first date…
Ok, with whom do I put what I’ve learned into practice?
No partner and no opportunities in sight? Then on our platform, no doubt!
Friends With Benefits, is an online dating site that focuses on people looking for casual hook up with no long-term commitments. By joining the site, users can create a profile, browse profiles of other users and connect with people who share similar interests.
The advantage of using a dating site like Friends With Benefits is that it offers an easy and convenient way to find people looking for casual relationships, which can save time and energy by avoiding the process of looking for a real-life date. In addition, users can communicate securely and privately online before deciding if they want to meet in person.
Another benefit of Friends With Benefits is that, by focusing on casual relationships, users can go on many first dates without feeling the pressure to make a long-term commitment. This allows them to explore their interests and preferences, and experiment without the worry of damaging a serious relationship.
However, it is important to keep in mind that any relationship, even casual ones, requires open communication and mutual respect. Friends With Benefits users should be sure to set clear boundaries and be willing to respect the boundaries of their potential partners to ensure a positive experience for all involved.