Sometimes, that date that you’ve waited for so long turns into a nerve recking nightmare.
Most of us been there, and try not to fall into those traps, but find ourselves back there time and time again.
So, it’s always a good idea to be mentally prepared with the do’s and don’ts.
What makes a date a nightmare is that we find ourselves stuck, many times with small, but yet uncomfortable embarrassments.
Picture me going to the bathroom and then walking back to my table with a stream of urine running down my pants.
I know you identify!
So, keep reading to master how to make the best out of every date:
1. Save Dinner For Your 3rd Date
Some guys who finally get a “yes” for a date, go all out and plan a 5 star extravaganza…wait, not so fast!
In order to make your first date a pleasant experience, its not a good idea to dine at a fancy place, no matter how much its recommended, and for several good reasons:
- The dinning scenario is not the ideal place for chemistry to emerge.
- Dinning at a prestige place is too proper, and instead of vibe’ing off of each other, you’re gonna find yourself confronting dining etiquettes, it’s too much pressure.
Now you’re pulling chairs, putting a big white heavy napkin on our lap and deciding what fork to eat with first, and then finally trying to order an appetizer in a French accent.
Forget about fancy places that’ll put you in a position to be too watchful over everything do.
I always have the luck that, the more careful I am, the more chances that wine will spill on me, or I am talking with mayonnaise on my mustache.
One thing that irritates me is when food gets stuck in my tooth, and then find myself busy planing out a way to discreetly get a toothpick way back into my mouth while she is not looking, or worse talk with a piece of spinach on a tooth.
These are situations that can be funny on the 3rd date, but almost never on the 1st, plus dinners can take a long time and cause blocks of empty time.
SOLUTION
The ideal thing to do, is to plan out something simple and predictable for your first 2 dates, like sitting at a coffeeshop, and then taking a stroll around the town.
Also the mall is great, or taking her to an outdoor event, where there is a nice crowd of people, rather than being face to face at a restaurant.
2. Make Your Conversation Interesting
When people meet for the first time, there is usually a latent, boring and logical period of questions asked like: where are you from? what do you do? etc.
However, relationships are not logical; they are emotional.
I suggest doing things that’ll get her smiling, like I usually ask”
“so what brings you out on a date with a guy like me?”
Some other emotional question are:
“”Tell me one of the things that you fear the most, other than a first date?”
“What’s your ultimate goal in life?”
“What was the best party that you went to, during your college years?”
At this level, your date will resort to good memories, and values instead of questions like “where were you were born?”
Fitness and heathy habits always works.
Your first date should be pleasant, and should encompass all the wonderful things life has to offer.
Asking her to share pleasant things will also help you gather how she gets along with life, if you see that she dries up, and doesn’t have a spark for life, then I advise you to help her if you can, and then run lol.
Negative people are unable to see their life in amazing ways, however love is blind, so if you already fell for her then, then be there for her.
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Change Places
Maybe your date is not going well because the atmosphere is not right.
A good atmosphere is very important, as it is decisive for the type of mood you will have.
For example, if you are at a loud bar trying to hear each other out, then your mood will change accordingly, also a cold restaurant will change your mood.
Instead of accepting it, change the mood by going to a different place.
4. Turn A Nightmare Into Fun
This may sound strange, but if your date is sour, like with someone that you know for sure you won’t see again, then that’s the time you can start having fun!
At this point, nothing matters, you won’t be afraid of failing, you don’t need to avoid certain topics, and you are open to ask things, that you would never ask on a first date, you can pick your nose or whatever.
Use this as practice to build your dating skills!
You’ll also learn that, you can always be yourself, as you’ll see that most of the things that you do (which you wouldn’t normally do had you liked her) will be taken in good cheer.
Here, you can attempt getting a kiss from her, and maybe more! as rejection won’t matter much, but make sure you don’t lead her on.
5. Be Honest
It’s easy to sense when a date is uncomfortable, and instead of coping with it,
its best to be honest.
You can be honest during a moment, where your conversation turns awkward, or if you catch yourself or her acting fidgety.
If you or she feels awkward, you’ll both know it, so It’s best to let it out of the bag, rather than trying to avoid the big pink elephant in the middle of the room.
Simply admitting that you are feeling awkward, or pointing out that she is feeling awkward will relieve tension.
Sometimes, clumsiness or nervousness could not mean anything, but rather that the “the date” itself makes you or her nervous, so at the same time, don’t jump into conclusions too soon, considering that the date is not going well etc.
Say something like, “I’m so sorry, I’m really nervous, I haven’t had a date in a long time, but I’m really enjoy talking to you.”
In other words, be true to your feelings, this will help steer the date in the right direction.
6. Don’t Lead Her On
There is nothing worse than walking out of a date confused.
So, If you know that things are not looking good, it best to just spill the beans, kindly saying something like:
“I’m having a good time, but I think we’re looking for different things, or you can make the best of your date, and let it drift away.
In other words, don’t make false promises, like making futuristic events etc, if you already know things are not going to go further.
7. Don’t Drag Things Out
If you have decided to cut the date short, then do so!
No need to pretend that you have a stomach ache, or forgot to feed your cat.
Some of the things we do.. like, having a friend call us with an “emergency” or sabotaging the date, is played out, and read into easily.
This one can be tough, because we don’t won’t to hurt feelings, although honestly it’s just best saying some thing like:
“look, this is not working, I would rather leave.”
However, sometimes being blunt, is not that easy.
8. Don’t Put Up With Bad Behavior
While it’s good making the best out of a date, at the same time, do not tolerate bad behavior.
Just because it’s a date, doesn’t mean that you are bound to anything.
If you see that she is old fashioned, who expects you to pull chairs etc, continue to be yourself, and then steer clear, because you won’t be able to make good on the date anyway, if you both are coming from different places.
This also applies for your date, who is actually out on a date with her mobile phone.
You don’t have to tolerate anything that annoys you.
9. Turn Your Sour Date, Into An Asset
If your date (who you met through Friends with benefits) is not right for you, however you feel that your friend Tony would love her, than perhaps work out a way for her to meet Tony.
This is a simple as saying “man, I think I have the perfect guy for you”
This can actually propel you into being great friends, and drive you into a great conversation.
10. Don’t Blame Yourself, Rather Congratulate Yourself
Often times, many who experiences a bad date, end up blaming themselves, saying things like “I’m a loser” “why me”? etc don’t do it!
Some fall into a depression over failed dates!
Your date should always be seen as training for subsequent appointments, never as the World Cup Dating Finale.
Instead, learn to be kind to yourself, and see whatever as a blessing.
Feeling OK about dates, who has turned you down, is exactly the same as when you turn them down, we play a fair share in breaking hearts too, so learn to deal with the unpredictable.
Instead of feeling as though, you wasted time / effort / money with her etc, take it as a good thing like perhaps seeing at as: “you now have some extra play money to do something else with”
Remember: married people will always tell you to enjoy the freedom that you have, so handle failed dates in good cheer, taking the good times with the bad.
11. Learn To Analyze
Being in tune with yourself by analyzing how your date went, will help you with life in general.
This is called ”taking inventory” which is of great value in spiritual practices.
What did you do well? What could you have done better?
Questions like, were you kind to the waiter, were you patient and gentle with her etc can help you work on improving character flaws etc, we all have some!
It’s also very important that you congratulate yourself for the things you did well, while reviewing the things that you could have done better.
Take Note
That I haven’t said: “What did you do wrong”
I was taught to never use the words wrong or bad because, the words we speak and even think, can influence us (without knowing it)
So never speak or think in terms of “wrong” or “bad”
However, think along the lines of doing things differently, things like:
I should have talked less about myself, and focused more on her etc
Now, you are in a win win situation becoming a better man through your experiences dating.
The Ultimate Lesson:
All you have to do, is be the best person that you can be!
If you can deal with life’s unpredictabilities, and know how to turn the page, while keeping your head high, then you have mastery over life.
Seriously, that’s what its all about!
The promise, is that within any search, if anyone really want’s something, sooner or later, it will come.
Where To Keep Searching?
Well, surely you’ll have hundreds of opportunities online, plus with more success as the dating scene in Australia ranks the absolute best.
Friends with benefits has the most powerful integrated algorithms, which specializes in matching all kinds of people, in search for partners with specific needs.
As soon as you type into your profile, that you are looking for a trio, a stable partner, a one night stand, or whatever, Friends with benefits special algorithms will connect you instantly to people who are seeking your exact interest.
Friends with benefits will actually serve you, and assist you to find whatever you desire.
Here are the facts:
Dating online is the worlds current top platform, with a growing estimate of 37.2 million users worldwide by 2022.
It’s a statistical fact, that someone out there is looking for someone just like you, right now!
Happy Dating!
What’s up, I read your blog daily. Your writing style is awesome, keep up the good work!