There are many ways to deal with a difficult mother-in-law. Some people choose to ignore it completely and focus on their relationship with their partner. Other people try to be kind and courteous to her, despite the difficulties. There are people who – if the mother-in-law is too difficult to handle – even seek professional help.
Why do I find my mother-in-law so annoying
There are many reasons why a man might find his mother-in-law annoying. Some of these reasons could be because the mother-in-law interferes with her son-in-law’s relationship with her daughter, or because the mother-in-law has a personality that is difficult to deal with.
Also, the mother-in-law may be upset because she wants her son-in-law to be more involved in family life, or because she is jealous of his relationship with her daughter.
One piece of advice, don’t shut it up. It’s something to talk about with your partner.
Signs your mother in law doesn’t like you
Mothers-in-law have endless ways to indirectly tell you that they don’t like you, but we’re going to list ten of the most important ones.
1. Does not include you in her plans or invite you to her activities.
2. She does not look for you to ask for your opinions or to tell you about her problems.
3. Doesn’t look at you or talk to you when she’s with you.
4. She doesn’t ask you about your life or your plans.
5. She avoids you and treats you coldly.
6. She blames you for all the problems.
7. She never compliments you.
8. She makes you feel uncomfortable in her presence.
9. She criticizes everything you do.
10. Contradicts you in any conversation.
How to deal with a toxic mother-in-law
There are different ways to deal with a toxic mother-in-law, depending on each person’s personality. Some options are:
1. Ignore her
This is an option that works best if the mother-in-law in question doesn’t live nearby. If she lives nearby, it may be harder to ignore her, since she’ll be everywhere. That is why, among other things, it is toxic.
2. Talk to her
If the mother-in-law is very intrusive, talking to her may not be the best option. However, if she’s more calm, it might be a good idea to talk to her about how it’s affecting you and ask her to respect your space.
3. Set limits
If the mother-in-law is very invasive, it may be necessary to set limits. For example, you can ask her to let you rest on weekends or not to call you at all hours.
4. Leaving home
If you have to deal with an overbearing mother-in-law or one who is making you feel bad, you can consider leaving home. This can be especially helpful if you live with her.
5. Not letting your mother-in-law control your relationship with your wife.
Mothers-in-law have always been a cause of conflict with the couple. Although it is normal for the mother-in-law to have an influence on her daughter, she should not control the relationship that you two have. If she tries to interfere in your relationship, talk to your wife about it and decide what you want her to do.
6. Prevent your mother-in-law from manipulating you.
Some mothers-in-law are experts at manipulation. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important that you remain calm and do not fall for their games. Do not give importance to their negative comments and do not let them affect you.
7. Defend your space
If the mother-in-law invades your personal space, it is important that you reject her. Do not give her the opportunity to meddle in your life and in your affairs. If she tries to get closer, keep your distance.
8. Learn to say “no.”:
If your mother-in-law asks you to do something you don’t want to do, it’s important that you learn to say “no.” Don’t let her manipulate you and keep your own opinion. If you don’t want to do something, say no and explain why you don’t want to do it.
9. Ignore their negative comments
Mothers-in-law love to make negative comments about everyone. If she makes a negative comment, ignore her. Do not give importance to their criticism and do not let them affect you.
10. Keep calm
If your mother-in-law is being too harsh, it’s important to stay calm. If you get angry or upset, she will win the game. Stay calm and don’t let her see that she’s upsetting you.
11. Give yourself a break
If your mother-in-law is very toxic and you can’t deal with her, it’s important to give yourself a break. If you need to get away from her for a while, do it. Take a vacation or go to your parents or friends for a few days. You need to rest and relax if you want to deal with this situation.
How to make your mother in law like you
If you want to please your mother-in-law, you must first try to gain her trust. Let her know that you respect her opinion and that you are willing to listen to her. Give her the opportunity to get to know you better, and don’t hesitate to ask her for advice when you need it. Be kind and polite, and don’t forget to make room for her in your life.
Another way is to seek support from your partner and let her give you some clues on how to please your mother-in-law.
1. Do what she asks of you. Even if you don’t agree with her, it’s important to respect her. If she has any reasonable requests, try to comply to the best of your ability.
2. Give gifts. On her birthday, Christmas, etc, try to give her something. Even a small detail will show her that you love and respect her.
3. Make her feel important. When you are together, try to talk to her, ask her about her life, her plans, etc. In this way, you will make her feel special.
4. Try to get along with all of her children. If she has other children apart from your wife, try to get along with them.
5. Visit her frequently. You don’t have to visit every day, but try to do it relatively often. This way, she will know that you are aware of her and that you love her.
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