Flirting to meet people and eventually finding a partner is a good thing however, the world is full of manipulators, and we want to help protect you from them.
What Is Manipulation?
Manipulation is a person who skillfully controls or uses someone for their benefit, they know how to twist words around and manage situations in a clever way to get what they want.
These type of people seem genuinely kind and friendly.
However, In reality they are selfish and will do anything to get what they want.
They do this by playing on your emotions, example: if you like pets they’ll surprise you with the cutest dog but with a hidden agenda behind it to get something in return.
Some manipulators will play out romantic tactics to lead you on just to get sex or money etc and then disappear or they can manipulate cleverly for years!
Manipulators specialize in twisting words around and can go as far as turning you against friends and even family, they can make you feel bad about something that you had nothing to do with.
Manipulators are toxic people!
You need to know how to identify them because normally, you don’t see them coming.
Not all that glitters is gold
Manipulative people are usually well mannered and articulate, they are likable, caring and seem supportive, all for your best interest all while having hidden agendas.
The results can be disastrous.
There are cases in relationships in which the girl is completely faithful but he is not and manipulates her into thinking he is a good faithful guy by pointing out the flaws of others who are unfaithful just like he is.
What makes him a manipulator is that he fools her, he covers up his wrong doings very well, this man is a great actor and able to keep a straight face while lying right to her face.
He posses a talent to throw her off balance emotionally and exploit her without it being obvious.
Lets take a look at INFLUENCE:
Manipulators are masters at influencing others.
Manipulators will make you feel really good about the many things that you do and the great person that you are and then follow through with this manipulation technique.
- After he builds up enough points hyping you up, the manipulator may also influence you to feel good about “not doing” something which you always wished to do, like pursuing a career etc and will effectively convince you to do otherwise to maintain his superiority over you!
The Friends with benefits community is very influential, as you will see.
Manipulators would go as far as getting a girl pregnant, or faking a sickness in order to keep her from advancing in her career.
He would enhance his wrong doings by blaming her for the unwanted pregnancy plus convince her to have it or blame her for his sickness which in reality was not her fault.
You can also read: pushed away by someone you love
Alternatively a female manipulator would do similar, she would get pregnant by accident to get married or for financial support, etc.
* So, an important key to remember is that a loving partner will always support your dreams and will never get in between your family or friends.
At Friends with benefits .com, your number one dating website in Australia, our aim is to educate you to help detect potential manipulators.
Here Are The Top Manipulators Strategies.
Once you know how manipulators operate, you can paralyze them.
Emotional Blackmail
This is a form of manipulation through emotional abuse.
It may include the use of:
- Anger
- Bullying
- Threats
- Shame
- Guilt
These 5 emotional triggers create doubts in you in order to make you feel threatened and insecure.
The manipulator will express anger, shame etc in a way that ‘ll seem to serve you as a compliment but instead will make you put aside your needs and desires:
Classic examples:
”I’m surprised that you, out of all people would allow yourself to be reduced to that!”
”At your age nobody will love you” or
”I will die without you”.
Alternatively, if the manipulator has lots of money he may:
Secure you to the extent that you don’t have to work.
- this could turn into hell because, the older you get the harder it may be to breakout of the relationship.
When someone who is supposed to love you treats you like this, it’s time to wake up and cut the relationship.
Here Is Another Breakdown.
- First manipulators mentally beat their partner inflicting guilt, shame etc on them.
- They may play “forgive me games“ in such a sincere way that they confuse their victims.
- Manipulators would go as far as self-harming themselves to get what they want.
Lets take a look at Codependency:
Codependency is a one-sided relationship where the dependent person relies on the other for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs
Read carefully so you can see how codependency and manipulation go hand in hand.
Codependent people can rarely speak clearly or honestly because they are dependent on the other person
So they prepare what they need to say in order to please the other person to be loved, excepted and get what they want.
If you meet someone who is codependent, or if you are, then you have a big problem.
Codependent people avoid confrontations like: instead of answering a question they’ll avoid or change the subject using guilt or denial to try to mask being wrong.
Codependent people find it very difficult to say “no” and when they say yes, it is followed by complaints about how difficult it would be to carry out the “yes”.
They use charm and flattery, and offer favors to be accepted and loved.
Criticism, guilt and self-pity are also used to get what they want:
Listen to this advise carefully:
The good things that people do are done naturally out of having good hearts, but a manipulative/codependent person would do good things to build credit and then point out how they are so helpful to make you feel that you are the selfish one.
Here is an example:
”How can you only think of yourself? Look at all I’ve done for you!
In the example above, the person played the victim to manipulate by imposing guilt.
Lets clarify this once more:
The manipulator is the person who likes to throw what they do in your face in order to get something in return while a good person does things out of the goodness of their heart.
Now lets review PEOPLE WITH ADDICTIONS:
People addicted to alcohol or drugs routinely deny, lie and manipulate to maintain their addiction.
Addicts are sick controlled by the substances that they are addicted to and because of their addiction they are extremely manipulative.
In the case of addiction manipulation, it depends on a mixture of emotions.
For instance, the addict is happy if he gets his next drink or drug or hostile if he doesn’t.
The fear of an addict not getting his next drink or drug could turn things between you and him into a nightmare.
The addict would go as far to claim “I drink because you hurt me constantly”
If your partner is an addict, you should already know that you also have a problem.
Your partner having addiction issues already means you suffer from codependency.
Think of the double trouble here, the addict manipulates you to get the next drink or drug and you let him to make him happy in order to keep him around.
Lets review Behavioral Issues:
Passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressive behavior can also be used to manipulate.
This type of person will use subtle insults, or would deliberately do things half-heartedly to avoid accomplishing things.
Example: a passive aggressive person would say yes to visiting his girlfriends parents on Sunday but would plan a way out with excuses done in such a way that she has no time to react.
A passive aggressive’s would simply ”forget” on purpose.
Lets review Reverse Psychology Manipulation:
Reverse Psychology – is to tell a person one thing or to do something with an intention to motivate them to do the opposite which is really what you desire.
Reverse psychology examples:
- Hinting “ oh don’t be so cheap” “you only live once” etc to get you to buy something.
- A girl lies to her boyfriend, telling him how her best friends boyfriend bought her an expensive ring so he would buy one for her too.
The grave consequences from habitual manipulation are:
- The person ends up doubting themselves
- They are not sure about how they feel,.
- They can’t think straight nor can see things as they are.
Once you have been manipulated, you will be completely dependent on that person.
Once he is in control, the psychological abuse will persist and increase.
Lets review Intellectual superiority:
“Shut up, silly, you don’t know anything about this” is the typical phrase to make someone feel inferior.
A manipulator will pretend that he really knows what he is talking about by overwhelming you with data, usually a bit of the truth mixed up with lies in order to make you feel stupid.
At that point, all your opinions will have no value.
How to deal with a manipulator?
The first step is to understand who you are dealing with and “that person is YOU!”
You need to see clearly where you stand in the scenario!
Are you worthless? are you stupid? of coarse not!
You need to review your life and internalize what makes you happy and what you want from life and not what someone else want’s.
GET THIS! A manipulators strategies won’t work on a person who is authentic, who trusts and loves themselves.
You see, the manipulator has found your triggers, one trigger is through your low self esteem, now it’s your job to see this flaw, correct it and develop yourself to obtain and maintain the upmost respect and love for yourself.
To love yourself means to be the type of person who sets limits and boundaries, and who pursues dreams either alone or with someone special.
In other words, be the best that you can be, and then find a partner who supports and enriches your life.
This is your best defense!
Why did we publish an article like this in the blog of Friends with benefits?
We published an article like this because we care to make it our responsibility to provide you with all the ways to improve relationships.
We all are aware, that if you don’t love yourself, have self doubt, low self esteem, or are troubled by past relationships.
Then having a new loving relationship will be precarious, so we owe it to you to help you anyway that we can.
Alternatively, whether you desire to meet people, have one night sexual encounters, find a partner, or just a friend, then Friends with benefits is the place for you.
At Friends with benefits there are thousands of people to choose from and our platform is designed problem free, without ties and of course, without manipulations!
So come on board and join the fun!
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