How to Enhance Your Sexual Performance and Last Longer in Bed

Written by Regina Falangi Advice


The topic of lasting longer in bed has been a subject of fascination and concern for men and women alike. While the average time for sexual intercourse is around 20 minutes, men on average last between six and eight minutes. 

Duration below six minutes may be considered premature ejaculation. This comprehensive guide aims to provide you with practical tips and techniques to improve your sexual performance and last longer in bed.

The Importance of Pelvic Floor Muscles

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles can significantly improve your sexual performance. Exercises like Kegel exercises target deep abdominal muscles while allowing pelvic floor contractions. These exercises not only help in delaying ejaculation but also improve erectile function.

How to Perform Kegel Exercises

Identify the pelvic floor muscles by stopping urination mid-stream.Once identified, contract these muscles for 3 seconds and then release.Perform sets of 10-15 repetitions, three times a day.

Mindfulness and Breathing

Breathing correctly during sex helps relax muscles and eliminate tension. Take deep breaths before sex and maintain a calm breathing rhythm throughout. Being mindful and focusing on sensory experiences can also help you gain better control over your ejaculation.

Breathing Techniques

  • Deep abdominal breathing: Inhale deeply through the nose, filling the abdomen, and exhale slowly through the mouth.
  • 4-7-8 Technique: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.
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Diversify Your Sexual Activities

Taking penetration off the table or focusing on other sex acts can increase enjoyment for everyone involved. From erotic massages to different sex positions and foreplay sessions, diversifying your sexual activities can help you last longer and provide more pleasure to your partner.

Alternative Sexual Activities for a More Fulfilling Experience

Erotic Massages

Understanding women’s body language is essential to giving a good erotic massage and  can serve as an excellent prelude to sexual intercourse or as a standalone activity. It helps in relaxing both partners, improving blood flow, and setting the mood for more intimate activities. Using aromatic oils can enhance the experience further.

How to Perform an Erotic Massage:

  • Set the atmosphere with dim lighting and soft music.
  • Use warm, aromatic oils for the massage.
  • Focus on erogenous zones but don’t neglect other parts of the body.
  • Maintain eye contact and observe your partner’s reactions to adjust your movements.

Oral Sex

Oral sex can be a deeply satisfying experience for both partners and it can be great for building trust in the relationship.when done correctly. It offers a different kind of pleasure compared to penetrative sex and can be a way to explore each other’s bodies more intimately.

Tips for Better Oral Sex:

  • Communication is key; ask for feedback during the act.
  • Vary your techniques; don’t just focus on one movement or speed.
  • Use your hands in conjunction with your mouth for added stimulation.
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Role-playing can add a layer of excitement and novelty to your sexual activities. It allows partners to explore fantasies in a safe and consensual environment. It is, when we talk about sex, one of the best things to do as a couple.

Role-Playing Ideas:

  • Doctor and patient
  • Teacher and student
  • Strangers meeting for the first time

How to Start Role-Playing:

  • Discuss your fantasies and boundaries beforehand.
  • Choose a scenario that excites both of you.
  • Get into character and enjoy the experience.

Sensory Play

Sensory play involves using the five senses to enhance sexual pleasure. This can include the use of various textures, temperatures, and sensations to stimulate the body.

Sensory Play Ideas:

  • Ice cubes for cold stimulation
  • Feather ticklers for a soft touch
  • Blindfolds to heighten other senses

How to Engage in Sensory Play:

  • Discuss comfort zones and boundaries.
  • Prepare the items you’ll use for sensory stimulation.
  • Take turns exploring each other’s bodies using different sensations.

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Incorporating these alternative sexual activities into your repertoire can not only help you last longer in bed but also make the overall experience more enjoyable and fulfilling for both of you.

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Healthy Lifestyle Choices for Enhanced Sexual Performance

Maintaining healthy lifestyle habits like exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management can also contribute to better sexual performance. Cardio exercises such as swimming, running, and biking can lead to harder and longer-lasting erections.

Does exercising make you last longer in bed? Balanced Diet Rich in Antioxidants and Essential Nutrients

A balanced diet plays a crucial role in improving sexual performance. Foods rich in antioxidants, such as fruits and vegetables, can help improve blood flow, which is essential for maintaining an erection. Essential nutrients like zinc and Omega-3 fatty acids can also contribute to better sexual health.

Foods to Include:

  • Berries: Rich in antioxidants
  • Fish: High in Omega-3 fatty acids
  • Nuts and Seeds: Good sources of zinc and other essential nutrients
  • Leafy Greens: High in nitrates that improve blood flow

Foods to Avoid:

  • Processed Foods: High in sodium and preservatives
  • Sugary Drinks: Can lead to weight gain and reduced libido
  • Excessive Alcohol: Can impair sexual performance

Regular Exercise, Including Cardio and Strength Training

Regular physical activity is another key factor in enhancing sexual performance. Cardiovascular exercises like running, swimming, and cycling improve heart health and increase stamina. Strength training, on the other hand, can boost testosterone levels, which is beneficial for sexual health.

Types of Exercises:

  • Cardio: Running, swimming, cycling
  • Strength Training: Weightlifting, resistance band exercises
  • Flexibility: Yoga, Pilates

Recommended Routine:

  • Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity a week, along with muscle-strengthening activities on 2 or more days a week.
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Stress Management Techniques Like Meditation and Mindfulness

Stress and anxiety can have a negative impact on your sexual performance. Techniques like meditation and mindfulness can help you manage stress effectively. These practices not only improve your mental health but also enhance focus and awareness, which can be beneficial during sexual activities.

Stress Management Techniques:

  • Meditation: Spend at least 10 minutes a day focusing on your breath.
  • Mindfulness: Be present in the moment, whether you’re eating, working, or making love.
  • Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your mind.


  • Improved focus and awareness
  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Enhanced emotional well-being

By incorporating these healthy lifestyle choices into your daily routine, you can significantly improve your sexual performance and overall well-being.

The Squeeze Technique and Other Methods

The squeeze technique involves applying pressure to the urethra to decrease sexual tension and delay ejaculation. Using thicker condoms can also dull sensation slightly and provide more control.

Steps for the Squeeze Technique

  • When nearing climax, withdraw from your partner.
  • Have your partner apply pressure to the base of the penis for about 30 seconds.
  • Resume sexual activity.


Lasting longer in bed is not just about delaying ejaculation; it’s about enhancing the overall sexual experience for you and your partner. By incorporating these tips and techniques into your sexual routine, you can improve your performance and enjoy a more satisfying sexual life. Get ready to try the best Kama-Sutra postures!

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How to last longer in bed: everything you need to know
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