How to last longer in bed: everything you need to know

Written by Advice


It is any man’s sexual nightmare and one of the most common disorders in the orgasm phase. It happens when a person is unable to control the ejaculatory reflex. The good news is that there are techniques to last longer in bed.   

What is the average time when having sex?

Depends. Ideally it is twenty minutes, because it is the average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm, but the reality is that men, on average, usually last between six and eight minutes.  Below that time it could be said that a man has a premature ejaculation disorder.

Seven tricks to last longer in bed

To last longer in bed please don’t think about your grandmother during sex. Don’t think about the mortgage. Do not think about your monthly payments for the car.  

Do not think of anti-erotic things to hold on longer, no matter how much you have been told that it works.  

Maybe it works for some people, but sex has to be something pleasurable, fun. Associating sex with these types of images will lower your libido -also outside of bed- faster than immediately.  

And you won’t want to do it as often. So don’t think about your grandmother.  


Obviously, avoid thinking about the things that normally turn you on. If your sexual fantasy is to have a threesome, do not invite anyone -not even thoughtfully- to bed. Aside from your partner, of course. If you like being told dirty things or you like saying them, you shouldn’t do it until you have the problem under control.  

One option is to have sex in alternative positions to the traditional ones. The Kamasutra is great for that.

Instant techniques to last longer in bed

1. Instant cooling techniques to last longer in bed

● Pass the tip of the tongue in a circular motion around the palate. You can keep your mouth shut so your partner doesn’t even notice. It will tickle you slightly.  

● At the same time, run your hands up and down your partner’s back in long, even strokes. Spread your fingers apart and work your way up to his shoulders and down to his lower back (but be sure to avoid his butt). Focus on touch and sight. Your skin. Your muscles. Your outline. Make sure this is your main focus. If you find yourself in a position where you can’t reach her back (like missionary), make sure to focus on her shoulders, neck, head, or even her hair. 

Why does it work? 

Because, without resorting to inappropriate or anti-erotic images, it prevents you from concentrating on the genital area. That will prolong sex with your partner.  

2. Close the floodgates! 

Do you want to prolong sex? Watch out: The pubococcygeus muscle – the one you use to cut off urination – repeatedly contracts and expands during orgasm. It is about squeezing the perineum with the index and middle fingers – the area between the anus and the testicles – just when you are going to have an orgasm, so that you have it, but do not ejaculate. If you can get the hang of it, this is a wonderful technique to last longer in bed. You will only be limited by your physical condition!     

3. Change negative beliefs and thought patterns

The previous techniques were to be used during sexual intercourse. The one I describe below has to do with what your head does when you’re not having sex. 

We all have something of a sexual mindset. This mindset can contribute to premature ejaculation. Write this down somewhere inside your mind. 

Change negative beliefs
  • Women are not from Venus and you are not from Mars. You share 99.9 percent of their DNA. Don’t see the opposite sex as a different species, or put them on a pedestal. Get comfortable with them. 
  • See sex as an activity (which happens to be very enjoyable) and not something mystical or magical. 
  • Talk to her. Tell a joke. Lighten up. Laugh at your mistakes. 
  • You don’t have a sexual dysfunction: there are just some new skills you need to learn. 
  • Stop thinking about hypothetical situations: if your mind begins to wander into dark areas, cut it short. 
  • You are not a premature ejaculator. People are not just one thing.

4. Breathing during sex

A psychologist once told me that if people knew how to breathe they wouldn’t have a job. 

If you do not breathe correctly during sexual intercourse, you will have trouble lasting in bed. And most men with premature ejaculation do not even take this into account. 

But it’s easy to learn and it will make a difference right away. What’s more. It is a technique to last longer in bed, which does not cost money! 

Breathing the right way relaxes your muscles and eliminates tension that would otherwise creep into your pelvic area. 

The trick is to develop the habit of taking deep breaths before sex begins. 

Once started, it is about following a calm rhythm of breathing, even if the rhythm of the sexual act increases. It’s complicated but not impossible. Not at all.  

5. Kill the prophet within you

How to last longer in bed if I am precocious? If this is something you ask yourself every day, kill the prophet in you. 

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that, once made, is itself the cause of its coming true. 

How to last longer in bed if I am precocious

For example: 

  • Rumor spreads that a bank is going to fail. People start withdrawing deposits for fear of bankruptcy. The bank goes bankrupt. 
  • You think you’re not going to measure up on your first date with the girl you met on Friends with Benefits. That belief makes you nervous when you’re with her. When you get nervous you breathe badly and tense your muscles, so you ejaculate earlier. 

For all these, kill the prophet within you. And how is that done? Being present. 

Really, it sounds like a typical phrase from a self-help book, but it’s true. Eliminate any thoughts that have nothing to do with what you are experiencing at that moment. 

No matter the situation. Look around you and use all five senses to perceive your surroundings. Focus on each of them. 

6. Have healthy lifestyle habits to help yourself last longer in bed

That is, eat little and varied, exercise, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, do not take drugs, meditate, control stress, do not work too much and sleep eight hours a day. 

Ok, I know that for some people it is difficult to lead such a healthy life, but you have to try to meet all the variables you can to have a healthy life. 

You will see how all aspects of your sexual life improve, including premature ejaculation. 

In short: if you ask yourself how to last longer in bed naturally, the answer is healthy living.

7. Practice with masturbation

I know you have a master’s degree in the subject, but you have to get your doctorate. It is about delaying orgasm as long as you can by applying the techniques I have described. 

make yourself last longer in bed

Friends with benefits: the dating website that teaches you how to make yourself last longer in bed

Friends with Benefits is a social network to meet women and men with whom to have sex without commitment. Its blog, as you have seen, tries to be useful and help people to enjoy their sexuality without complexes. 

That’s why I guarantee that if you follow the advice in this article and put it into practice with the thousands and thousands of people who are part of our community, premature ejaculation will be a thing of the past. Why don’t you check it out? Joining is completely free.

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How to last longer in bed: everything you need to know
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How to last longer in bed: everything you need to know
Do you have premature ejaculation? Have you been looking for a solution for a long time? Would you like to last longer in bed? Keep reading
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Friends with benefits
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