How To Get Support From Your Partner

Have you ever stopped to consider the major turn off it is when anyone tells you that you can’t do something?

Judgments coming from friends are bothersome, from family members it may be frustrating, etc but when judgments come from the one that spends the most time with you, it can be a total let down.   

Arnold Shwarzenegger advises us to ignore the naysayers unless the naysayers empower you, then use the negativity for your benefit.    

This is all good against the general public but when no support comes from dad or your own mate, then what?

How do you get support from your loved ones? 

The answer is that “YOU DON’T” try to get support from them.   

Here is the breakdown and you’ll see as you read on that this logic can’t be denied. 

First, consider honestly: how many close friends, family members, and mates have ever joined the gym and stuck with it, or have changed anything radical?

Very little eh? 

Using fitness as an example, even if you went to the gym for 5 years daily, you’ll probably only count 2 or 3 that you’ve seen stick with it.

So the question is: if we don’t see much of anyone conquer their dreams then how does anyone expect to get support? 

The Solution: 

The solution is to get support directly from the people or sources who are doing it! 

Rule: don’t ever expect support from a friend to do something if he hasn’t done it, because if he hasn’t done it, his logical answer will come from his reflection of himself, not you.  

To prove this: think of Arnold Schwarzenegger telling someone that it “can’t be done”

The Problem Is This: we expect family and friends to support us when in fact, they actually can’t.  

Using Arnold Schwarzenegger again is the perfect example because you’ll never hear the words “NO” come from a guy like Arnold.

Arnold has won so many bodybuilding titles, became one of the highest-paid actors, plus governor.

If you are lucky to have a father who has conquered much in life, you are lucky, as his response to life’s goals will be through his achievements. 

So now this brings us to the most important question for you to ponder about which is:

“Who are you relying on for support and why?”

This is a deep question because if you need support then this means there is a side of you that doesn’t believe that you can do it because otherwise, you would just do it.  

To prove this just ask around and you’ll find many who have pursued their dreams against their family’s wishes, but made it and proud that they trudged through. 

Another side to this is that we have been indoctrinated to support family and friends which is flawed. 

Maybe a potential problem is that the support is active while dating but then dies out when the relationship gets serious. 

Think about the guy who wants support from his friends to travel the world, while his friends have fears of flying, low self-esteem, etc.

Think about the girl who wants support from her husband to lose weight when all he does is drink beer. 

I know a woman who started her journey to become a doctor in her 40’s.

She was told that it was impossible by those of coarse who never put themselves against a goal like that, nevertheless, she is a doctor now! 

The Ultimate Support:

Although we hear to always support our mates, friends, etc and to never judge, let’s not lie to ourselves, it never goes down like that. 

For instance, if you’ve been declaring to do something for some time and still haven’t done it, then the chances of your mate sucking his/her teeth at you when you announce your goal for the 20th time will be high, no?

Another prime example is: the guy who announces that he quit drinking 20 times will produce frustration from his surroundings but will get maximum support from AA, therapy, etc, yes or no? 

Making Your Family, Friends, And Your Mate An Asset:

The twist to all this is that family, friends, and mates can be extremely beneficial.

Beneficial if we were to extract our setbacks from family and then use what we find as a way to dive into the solution, for example: 

If you tell your mate that you plan to pursue something and your mate tells you “yeah right” this is great! 

Why is this great?

This is great because your mate is already telling you your flaws. 

These are your flaws, not theirs – if you could do what you desire you wouldn’t need their support. 

So, If your mate tells you “yeah right” this means that you’ve said it before and never made good on it, etc. 

Yeah right, oh come on, the sarcastic “sure you can” can exhibit character defects from fear, low self-worth, low confidence, etc to act upon, and knowing this is a blessing.  

We have a direct impact upon everyone and if we truly wish to know who we are, just observe how your surrounding responds to you. 

Any person that plans to do something or to quit something and actually does it, won’t ever get beef! 

However, if you tried 20 times, that’s good, but support from the family will be nil, so getting real support from the proper sources should be the route to take. 

If you can handle the messages coming from your surroundings and willing to face your faults, then you can do something about it! 

This is serious to consider because no bank will loan you money if you have bad credit so same way if you lack family obligations how would you expect to get full support?       

Examples On How To Turn Liabilities Into Assets.

Your mate:

• constantly tells you “don’t be late” then it is obvious that you have a problem with punctuality, fix that!
• tells you that you are lazy, then look to spark things up somewhere, fix that!
• tells you that you are messy/don’t clean, then start making the bed or something, fix that!
• is angry at you again while your head is pounding from a hangover, which means you drink too much, fix that! 
• If you hear “you are always” then fix that! 

These are just a few examples of how no-one really needs to figure out who they are, we are being told constantly whether through words or through body language.

Make no mistake, we are being appraised constantly, and that’s a blessing as its the most effective way to learn about self and to make changes if we are willing to wake up to the messages.

Making the bed takes a minute, so ask yourself what’s the trouble? 

Now, imagine you’re always on time now, how much would you expect to hear, don’t you be late?

Look At The Beauty In This:

The guy who is punctual 99% of the time, who is responsible, dresses sharp, and who makes his bed daily, will most likely announce his goal after he has already started. 

This is the stance taken from organized people. 

He will announce his goals afterward because he is already in motion. 

FACT: anyone who improves upon just a few responsibilities will get a higher degree of support.

After all, support simply means to agree!!

Do you see what is happening here?

THE KEY: never rely on blind support from your mate, family or anyone!

Put yourself into the position to move into the grooves of success! 

The internet and YouTube offers a wide range of support for everything, go there!

So, to clarify: 

We can play around with “you can do it” or “I believe in you” forever, but if you are not making progress in the areas of your life that count, don’t expect the support to come from your loved ones, for what? 

Automatic Support From Our Surroundings:

If you caught on to using your loved ones to assess your assets and liabilities, and you begin to improve upon them, then this happens:

“You become a responsible and a confident person” which are the top attributes to have ever.

Now, you don’t need support, you already have it and own it, thanks to  your friends, family, and mate who showed you “who you are” 

The response from your loved ones will be, call me after school, or after the gym, etc. 

Now you can take the pleasure to invite your family to dinner to celebrate your progress, and give them thanks as they are the root of your progress. 

Ultimate Enforcement:

Most people have a tendency to argue against the truths that they hear, especially flaws.

Example: stop being so lazy, oh shut up, look at you!

However try this: If a person tells you that you are lazy, sloppy, a drunk, overindulgent, etc, see that as support, not as an attack.

You can change anything that one claims about you, as no one will ever tell you that “you can’t do something” or that “you are something” if it’s not true!

A man who is not lazy will never be called lazy. 

So, listen to your family, friends, and mate who will point out your flaws, and then act upon them through the support from others who are doing it. 

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