Do you see your friends with a girlfriend and wonder why you don’t have one? There are some reasons that can explain why you are still single
Alternately, many claim that they choose to be single, however, in the background, they still desire to grow old with someone special, but perhaps have given up.
Destined To Be Single
If you’ve been lead to consider that your destiny is to be single for reasons of undesirability, unattractiveness, bad luck, etc, this article will help you look beyond that paralyzed system of thinking.
We will go against the grain – contrary to general beliefs – and by the time you finish this article you will think differently and you will be enlightened.
Do I Want A Relationship, Or Am I Just Lonely?
Before we go further, we must make it clear that love is not for everyone, we do not believe in the old slogan that everyone has a soul mate.
In fact, many people out there should be single.
How many times have you found yourself uttering “dude why don’t you just be single”?
As far as loneliness is concerned, it’s hard to wrap our heads around that one, because, with 8 billion people in this world, we must conclude that loneliness is a choice. We must see it as a choice because if we don’t then what?
Reasons To Be Single
A psychological study concluded that many people, deep down inside, wish to be single.
The problem is that many people end up depressed due to the pressures of what’s expected.
For example: how many times have you heard “oh don’t worry honey you’ll find someone, you’re wonderful” and you’ve answered “if I am so wonderful why am I single”?
Perhaps 1000 times?
Please read on……
No One Is The Same
For the sake of this article, we must divide people into different classes, like those who ponder why am I still single into one class, and those who are capable of dating instantly into another class.
The reason for making this division is because, if we don’t, we’ll get caught up between those who easily get dates thanks to their good looks, who have a gift for flirting, who are famous, those who are rich, etc.
Using myself as an example, I went to the beach with a friend and before I laid my towel down, he was exchanging numbers for a sex date with a hot girl from Barcelona, that will remain a dream for me but it’s ok, I’m not in that class.
Important Step: if you have a track record of being single, you must begin thinking outside the box, and you shouldn’t go for customary dating attributes like: attraction, proper timing, when it’s meant to be or to wait for Gods plan.
Qualify For What You Want!
Role Play: A single 40-year-old man named James likes sexy girls in their early/mid-30s.
James turned 45 this year and he is still single.
What do you think, perhaps bad luck?
The Reality: in James’ case, he was 15kg overweight, had a potbelly, and was hanging out at bars mingling his way to nowhere.
James’ Problem: he didn’t measure up to his standards.
James’ Solution: he joined the gym, stopped going to bars, and instead went nicely dressed to seminars, dance classes, exhibitions, things like that.
Now, did James increase his odds of dating?
YES!!
So the reason why no one wants to date you is not a matter of fault-finding, defects, loneliness, bad luck, etc. but rather it has to do with how to find your place in life; finding how and where you fit in.
Measuring Up.
Let’s continue James story because it offers a powerful lesson.
James got married at 49 and says jokingly that his wife married him because of his six-pack abs.
How shallow eh? but wait it wasn’t the six-pack!
When James started working out, a six-pack wasn’t on his agenda, he started working out due to health issues because drinking at the bar didn’t pay off.
Long story short: as a byproduct of his continued fitness dedication, his health got better, his self-esteem increased, he dressed better, looked younger, his attitude changed, and naturally, he found himself mingling more everywhere and married his dance partner.
Let’s Review What Was At Work For James
1- James gave up on dating – remember the slogan “things come your way when you stop looking”?
2- James loved to dance and so took dance classes.
3- James joined the gym to take care of his health issues and in turn produced an attractive physique.
4- James married his dance partner.
James has a lucky story because his life’s challenges steered him in the right direction.
Is there anything from James’ story that has enlightened you?
Examine Your Patterns
The single man, who examines what pattern has kept him single, and then adapts new principles into his life will be on his way to succeed.
One negative pattern is turning everything down.
For example: you’re invited for coffee, a family gathering, a party, a walk, etc and you always turn it down.
Alternatively, a person like that needs to reach out and do some inviting too!
How To Measure Up
Measuring up means that you reach a new level of confidence, and are therefore ready to make changes.
Here are some useful tips from guys who are no longer single.
- I deflated my ego and stopped chasing young girls.
- Change wardrobe for the better.
- I joined the gym/went on a diet
- Go to single events
- Reconnect with old friends
- Join a dating site
- Start acting true to your age.
The Dating Road For A Stranded Single Man Must Be Different
For instance, a single guy may wanna find a coffee shop or a home type diner and become friends with the owners and staff, and then over time, a staff member may pair him up with someone.
Why is this promising?
It’s promising because the first question between people, in general, is usually “are you single?” which can easily be answered by “yes, I am single and available” (HINT)
Put The Word Out There.
Your surroundings may know you as a single guy, but may not be aware that you desire a partner.
Remember, this article is for those who ponder “why don’t I have a girlfriend?
Women are natural match-makers, you can catch them saying Charlie and Grace would make a good couple.
Your job is to put the word out, so don’t be afraid to tell the whole world that you’re single and available.
Settle For Less
Settle for less is another way to become more humble/deflate the ego.
We don’t need research to tell us that picky guys who are stuck in routines are gonna have a hard time dating.
Settling for less is a paradox contrary to “never settle for less”.
Don’t worry, we don’t believe that if you settle for less, that you’ll actually get that.
In fact, it’s the opposite: where people’s standards are so high that it often backfires.
Drop Shared Interest
Many articles cover the importance of sharing similar interests, which is true, but let’s leave that for the date-capable.
Having things in common is trivial for this type of article, we prefer that you drop all dating rules and let yourself go!
Please Get These Facts Straight:
If you are impatient with women, if you desire someone outside your league, if you can’t compromise, if you are not a good listener, if your appearance is not palatable, you’re going to have to work on all of that anyway, and then, once you have a girlfriend, you can fart on her and she’ll laugh.
Into Action
We don’t believe, we know, that whoever dedicates themselves to something, they can achieve whatever they desire.
You can walk over right now and people-watch at a park and you will come across some odd-looking couples.
So, why them and not you?
Conclusion
We at friendswithbenefits.com take these matters seriously.
We are aware that being single leads to depression and that the rate of suicide is increased among the lonely.
The advent of the internet that loneliness is now a choice, it’s a choice because you can register right now and meet someone instantly.
We are a dating site and so dating is what happens!
The minute you set up your profile, you’ll have a slew of girls to browse through to meet.
You should be fairly equipped with fresh new ideas on how to be more dateable through the help of this article.
Are you ready to go for it?
Our motto is: someone is joining us right now and is looking for someone just like you!
Join the movement!
