Discover how and why you sabotage relationships

Written by Regina Falangi Tips for couples

sabotage relationships

Do you end up ruining things with the girls that you love?  

Normally, finding loving authentic women is always something vital for our love life and future, but many who find love, who doubts it, because of fear, or bad relationships, or gets to a point where things are too good to be true, will do things to sabotage it!  

Is this you?

If yes, I have bad news for you: you are, your own worse enemy!

Perhaps the sabotaging trigger happened when you were sixteen, or twenty, and she really hurt you, and you buried the pain under thick layers of self justification, but now wonder why your relationships are falling apart.   

Well, the fact is this: your past pains play out as self worthless, phobias and  engrams, which makes you do things unconsciously to protect yourself, but instead, ruin relationships.   

Unconscious? what is that? 

Well, the unconscious mind is your reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that lies outside of your awareness.

The unconscious mind controls much of your life which you cannot control, and you don’t even have access to it.  

Example: suppose your mind is an iceberg: the conscious part is the part above the water and the unconscious is the part is where the iceberg is submerged into.

The unconscious is difficult to grasp, but as you read on, you’ll be surprised at the amount of things that it controls.

The best way to explain the unconscious is by using general examples like: 

married women

Have you ever wondered why you like to flirt with married women?   

Why do you fancy bold, daring girls, or open relationships?   

To best explain: everything from past experiences, traumas, successes, failures, plus all the people you’ve ever met, end up traveling into your subconscious and then governs you, shaping your behaviors and personality. 

Another way to understand, is to recall the many times you’ve driven home, and although you’ve made 100 decisions, to turn left, right, stop etc when you got home, you can’t remember the drive home.  

So, What Does All This Have To Do With Sabotage?

Well, because our subconscious rules us, then we deal with life through our subconscious, which means that we unconsciously protect, and manage  ourselves from the thread of life experiences.   

A Classic Example: 

You are not good at flirting with girls, but because you met her through a dating website everything was made easier for you to pull it off.

You worked it out easily online, and set up a one night stand, through , now, your date is a week from today, and this is the trail of unconscious events that leads to sabotage:   

  • Monday, you are super happy. 
  • Tuesday, a sudden wave of nervousness hits you
  • Wednesday, you start to anticipate problems. 
  • Thursday , you play out the problems in your head, and feel confused. 
  • Friday you go out to buy clothes, and have no luck finding anything, and what you do like, they don’t have your size.
  • Saturday you wake up with stomach discomfort.

At this point, 3 things may happen:

  1. You go to the appointment a nervous wreck.
  2. Cancel or don’t show up.
  3. You show up, but because you are all wound up, mess things up, or worse, can’t perform your “sexual duties”   

Well, you might think it’s a thing of bad luck, or destiny, but hear this out: almost certainly it’s “self sabotage” and this happens unconsciously even to the extent that it all seemed real, and many cough it up as” it wasn’t meant to be”  


Sabotaging runs deeps, and encompasses beliefs, occurrences and the strength of sabotage is embedded into our bio memory.

Unconscious Occurrences Of Sabotage Include:        

  1. I love to flirt with girls, but never take anything serious because I’m worthless anyway. 
  2. We have been together for 3 years, and things are so good, that I feel that at any moment lightning will strike me dead.
  3. I feel she really doesn’t love me, so I’m gonna inflict jealousy, which leads us to fight (to sabotage)    
  4. I met a beautiful girl, but because I am always dumped, I am going to have fun, and then leave her first because she’s gonna leave me anyway. 

We can easily stop a second to recall, the many times friends have talked ill about themselves, and evidently sabotaged the good things around them.  

More about relationships!  

Concerning toxic relationships: being brave to cut off toxic relationships may be no problem, but if our “sabotaging degree” runs high, we may enjoy toxic relationships.   

So, what about the good ones? Why do we sabotage good relationships?

The easiest way to spot traces of sabotage, is by identifying all points of unworthiness.  

This can be difficult because, if the worthlessness runs deep, it may take years before it surfaces from the subconscious to the conscience.     

There are many ways of considering yourself unworthy, in fact, I bet anyone reading this right now has had a friend say “stop sabotaging yourself” 

How to stop the sabotage?  

The subconscious is like an elite soldier camouflaged in the middle of the jungle, how would you spot him?

When it comes to escaping sabotage, you have to ask yourself some questions.

  • What kind of life do I wish to have? 
  • Do I want a joyful simple life?  
  • I want a townhouse, a minivan, three children, a labrador and a turtle named Alfred? 
  • Do I desire a life of adventure, including extramarital affairs, or a stable relationship? 
  • I want to make a living from a travel blog? 
  • Do I want to live passionately?  
  • Does it freak you out, to imagine 2 toothbrushes in your bathroom? 
  • Would you rather have a threesome?
  • Do I like girls or boys? 
be brave

You have to be brave to ask yourself certain questions, and then face it in order to clean things inside.

There are many people living confused, who don’t know what they want, which not knowing what you want leads to “sabotage”  

So, you are going to need to look deep, and be honest with what you find!

You may find out that deep down, you are a liar, and exaggerate things to make yourself seem more than you really are, this can hurt to face.  

However, the good news is that when you have achieved the level of honesty with openness to face everything, then you will be able to stop sabotaging your relationships.

So, don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to be honest, you deserve a good life and can have one.

Also, many figure out what went wrong, and realize how they could have been better husbands, fathers, friends, etc when it’s too late.  

It would be nice to have two lives eh?.. like when many say” boy if I could do it all over again” 

Then 2 lives would be great for that: 

One life as a training, and then another life to do everything perfect, but it doesn’t work that way.   

We only have one life, so once you have faced yourself honestly, the next step is to match your insides with your outsides. 

Examples Of Your Inside World, Not Matching Your Outside World:

  • You are with a traditional girl, who is religious, but deep down, you want an open relationship. 
  • Deep down you hate sports, but your girlfriend is a fitness freak who counts calories, and serves you egg whites for dinner. 
  • You are not marriage material, but you are married.

Compromise is an invaluable virtue, but if what you really want inside doesn’t match who you are on the outside, then sooner or later, you will be at odds with life, and things will fall apart. 

The great news is that once you “clean house” and align who you really are between your inside world to your outside, something amazing happens:

Life starts to make sense, and you’ll love your partner, even if you don’t share the same hobbies, because you will posses the qualities that go beyond hobbies.

Do you follow?  

When your inside world matches the outside world, you become enlightened, with a new awareness, you are in tune, and when you are in tune, this means that you have tapped into your intuition. 

The intuition:    

Intuition is the part of our subconscious emerging, our intuition speaks to us constantly, the problem is, that there is so much noise going on inside of us that we miss it..

We usually get a glimpse at the power of our intuition afterwards like: 

  • “Umm “something told me, to not go to the party”
  • “something told me she was a freaky girl” 
  • “what am I doing driving 2 hrs to flirt with a married woman?
  • “I know this long distance relationship won’t work, so what am I doing flying back and forth?” 

The funny feelings that we ignore, is our intuition.

Sadly, our intuition is out of reach doubting everything, so when your intuition tells you “NO” you’ll ignore it.  

Once you clean house, and face your fears, then your intuition will, and can lead the way, and you’ll be able to hear and feel that distant little voice clearly telling you what to do.

One thing to know about intuition: it’s always right!  

Some claim, that their intuition is wrong sometimes, but if they look deep, they will always find an inner struggle between doubt, fear etc. 

sexy hot model

Your intuition is highly reliable, but now imagine someone who want’s a sexy hot model, but he knows that she is no good, however goes for her anyway because she is hot, make no mistake, that guy received 100’s of intuitive messages, but ignored them to get laid.

This is why our elders are full of wisdom, because they have a great account of life experiences.

As you get older, you’ll understand things better saying “when I was young”  meaning that we are not like that anymore.

The intuition that never fails: technology:

Some people consider meeting people through the internet unreliable or inauthentic, however dating online is a great way to practice seeking what you really desire.

This is where you can do the opposite, and meet a girl who wants a fling just like you do, or satisfy your fantasy to have sex with a married women.

In this case, you are aligning your insides with your outsides, as you can’t sabotage what you already desire. 

Now, in the real word, imagine flirting at a disco, you won’t be able to instantly know her like you would through an online profile.

Well, Friends with benefits is based on the principle and understanding that everyone fancies different things.

Our platform uses the most advanced technology to provide the best possible experience for its users, so If you want a nice, laid back religious girl or a freak in bed, you got it! 

Consider online dating as a way to extract the best out of life. 

Online, you declare only the information that you wish, plus will be directed to visit the profiles who relate to you, so if you are a Star Wars freak, in no time you’ll be talking to a girl who loves Star Wars. 

With you’ll be able to:

  • Complete an irresistible profile, Free.
  • Visit other profiles, Free.
  • Choose who you like, Free.
  • Receive messages,  Free. 
comfort of your home

Online you are safe and in the comfort of your home. 

One aspect online, is that many find it interesting to date a girl from another city, which you can easily do, or if you are interested in flirting in Pert because you usually travel between the two cities? Perfect!

Many are into having one night’s stands in a luxury hotel, no sweat!

No matter what your preferences are, friends-with-benefits has already “out thought you” with a community of thousands of seeking individuals.

If you are clear, we are clear!

We stand by one promise, and that is”

“Right now! someone is looking for someone just like you!

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Discover how and why you sabotage relationships
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Discover how and why you sabotage relationships
Do you end up ruining things with the girls that you love? Normally, finding loving authentic women is always something vital for our love life and future, but many who find love, who doubts it, because of fear, or bad relationships, or gets to a point where things are too good to be true, will do things to sabotage it!
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Friends with benefits
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