1- Loss Of Freedom:
If you’re a free spirit, who’s spontaneous, not into curfew’s, nor wish to check-in every 2 hours, then most likely you’re designed for living the single life.
This is important because many want a relationship, but not to satisfy their innate desires, but rather for the sake of having a “ relationship status”
This can be a struggle if you grew up hearing phrases like “soul mate” all your life, along with the influences of love songs, religion, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that conform to society.
The ways in which you conform to society is something to examine.
If you’re not willing nor capable to do what it takes, or a relationship feels like a trap, then spare yourself and her, because relationships and freedom don’t mix.
Relationships is a responsibility, not a utility.
2- Unstable:
First, If you’re unstable with work, morals, life, etc: then having what it takes to maintain a loving relationship will be tough.
Secondly, if you’re seeking a partner for financial reasons, then your ties will be based on that.
This can turn out rather complex because of the fact that finances, morals, etc doesn’t stop relationships, so the answer depends on the strength of the individuals.
For example, we stood together through “thick and thin” is an asset for this type of connection, however for others “think and thin” could result in suffering.
Therefore, the ideal is to find a perfect match, and if you’re not cut out for the job, it’s OK, there is nothing wrong with you.
Here is a True Story that’ll will help clarify what we mean:
A couple in love, considered having a baby, and the woman decided no,
the reason was that she knew that the responsibility to bring a child into the world would burden him.
She said: “he is an amazing man and would be a great father” however: “he would have to work way too hard, and I can’t put him through that”
This story brought me goose bumps, because she loved him so much, but couldn’t put him through that.
She thought it over reasonably and came to a logical real-life conclusion, and not based on solely on the delight to have a baby.
The lesson here: is to know that a relationship is a lifetime undertaking.
Are you in decent shape to handle a relationship?
3- Too Many Hot Girls Syndrome:
If you are the type that runs home to watch porn or you’re constantly checking out other girls while your girl is beside you, then perhaps you’ll be better off living the single life.
It looks ugly to see couples together while her man is checking out other girls.
Moreover, If you wonder things like “what if there’s something better?” then you’ve probably heard similar lines to this:
“ Why don’t you stay single or be a playboy”
There is a place for playboys as long as you’re honest.
You’ll rarely experience anger towards an honest playboy, it’s the dishonest/manipulators who hurt and cause damage.
Girls are beautiful and some guys can’t get enough of them which is all good if you don’t cause harm.
Have you ever heard the slogan “you can’t have your cake and eat it too?”
This is a proverb which suggests that one shouldn’t have two incompatible things, or have more than is reasonable, it also relates to similar phrases like “you can’t have it both ways” and “you can’t have the best of both worlds”
In other words, if you have a side of you that wants to fool around, and another side that wants to get married “you can’t have your cake and eat it too!”
4- She’ll Leave Me Anyway:
This one refers to those who suffer paralyzing low self-esteem and fears.
Fears and especially low self-worth can lead someone directly into sabotaging something good.
If you struggle with “ I’m not good enough” or “she is too good for me” then for this one try to get help.
Low self-esteem, low self-worth, fears of rejection, etc can make relationships that would normally work out just fine into a needless struggle.
There is hope for this one!
If you are a guy who qualifies for a partner, you don’t have to ruin it with jealousy, low esteem, fears etc.
A relationship free from baggage is an awesome one.
5- You Live In The Past:
If you live in the past, which means you compare everything, then your relationship can turn out to be a relationship of 3 4 5, etc, listen carefully:
While with one girl, if you still carry the outlook, framework, desires, etc from other relationships, then you’ll be living life with a chisel and clay, always attempting to chip away at what you don’t like, and adding clay to make things delightful.
Here you lose because the attempts to sculpt never ends because comparing never ends.
Consider the act of “comparing” the worse thing in the world because you’ll never see your love “as it is”
Examples:
- My ex loved to hold hands, but my new partner doesn’t, and I want her/him too.
- My ex told me she loved me every day, but my new partner barely utters it.
Don’t be a Love Carpenter!
6- I Don’t Understand Relationships:
She tells you communication is the key but when you ask her what’s wrong she says nothing.
If that common female statement made you want to bang your head against the wall, then think twice about getting into a relationship.
Sure women are strange, but men are too, the trick is to observe relationships who tolerate each other and still carry on well and see if you can adapt to that.
It’s a skill to tolerate nagging, to compromise, or to love unconditionally, however not everyone can do it, for example:
- A married man asks his wife if she’d like him to get her anything before he leaves, he asks her 3 times within an hour, and right as he opens the door to leave, she says “I’m hungry”
How would you handle that?
- Another guy says his wife complains that it’s hot, but won’t turn on the air conditioner.
How would you handle that one?
How you processed and would respond to these examples will determine your toleration skills.
If these examples cause frustration, resentment, anger, etc, then this is something to look at.
In other words, if you can’t handle women, it’s perfectly ok to stay single.
7- The Beauty Of Being Single:
Would a relationship make you whole?
Did you grow up constantly hearing “don’t worry you’ll find someone?”
Your answers will determine the standards that you live under.
Older generations have a higher chance to fall into depressions because of their upbringing, believing that relationships complete life.
What would you expect if “soul mate” was pounded into your head since you were 14?
Being single is not a curse against you, nor is your destiny, you’re not a loser, broken, and God doesn’t hate you.
People conforming to social pressures, and because of fear of being judged, feeling less than, or different will try to fit in needlessly and will go as far as to have children because their friends did.
Don’t conform to society!
To accept and love yourself as you are, can catapult you into a dynamic authentic life, as a married man can’t just pack his bags and move to Thailand but a single man can.
The list of benefits from both ends of the spectrum is eternal.
Relationships are beautiful, and being single is beautiful too.
The one who sees that life is beautiful just the way it is “ is free”
Very good post. I absolutely love this site. Keep
writing!
I couldn’t resist commenting. Very well written!