Sometimes going on a date turns into a nightmare. Most of us have been on at least one awkward date. How to mitigate its effects? How to learn from them? Or how to make it fun? Keep reading.
If you’re single, chances are you’re going to have some awkward first dates in the future. So I have thought it convenient to outline a few tips to prevent a date like this from becoming a nightmare.
1. Don’t go for dinner until a second date
This is one of the most valuable tips. I don’t think meeting for dinner is a good idea on a first date. It is much less likely to have an awkward second date. For several reasons.
1. The stage is not set for chemistry to emerge. Sitting across from each other, practically unable to touch, looking directly into each other’s eyes, you can feel awkward and strangely at odds.
2. A dinner can take a long time, it can be expensive, and problems can arise, like flavors you hate, spilling the wine, getting a piece of chicken with mayonnaise on your mustache, or worse, in the middle of your face. These are situations that can be funny on the third date, but they almost never are on the first.
3. The most important thing is to keep dates short and predictable the first time. How about a coffee and a walk through the old town? How about going to a sunny place for a white beer? You always have to do what the future of the date dictates, but, in principle, you protect yourself against many problems if the first ones are short.
2. Make conversation more interesting
When people first meet, there is a litany of boring and logical questions that are asked: Where are you from? What do you do for a living? Where do you live?
Do you want to know how to make a date less awkward? First and foremost, ask positive emotional questions. Instead of “Where did you go to college?” ask “What was the best party you went to in college?” To answer, your date will have to draw on good memories.
And that’s always good.
Have wonderful, funny and surprising things happened to you in your life? Of course you do, but does anyone ever ask you about them?
Probably not. Everyone, no matter how gray their life is, has had wonderful things in them. It’s good to ask about these things. If someone tells you that they have not had a wonderful moment in their life, I advise you to run away.
| Negative and pessimistic people have an amazing ability to make you see life as they do. |
3. How to make a date not awkward: Don’t fear changing places
Maybe the date is not going well at all because the place you have chosen to have a drink is the worst.
And where you are sometimes determines your mood.
For example, if you find yourself sitting at the table, you’ve ordered appetizers, but you can barely hear your date, and it’s freezing in the restaurant, you may be having a disastrous date. Do you want to know how to make a date not awkward? Instead of accepting it, try changing the mood by going to a different place.
But it’s important that your date agrees. You don’t want to come across as some impulsive lunatic who doesn’t have the opinion of others, do you?
4. Use your awkward first date to practice your flirting skills
It may sound weird, but if you have an awkward first date with someone you know you don’t want to see again, that’s when you can start having fun.
If you really like the person and want to see them again you have to be careful, avoid certain topics, not delve into some questions or make sure you don’t drink too much. If you know you don’t want to see her again, you don’t have to be afraid of failure. You can fill yourself up with wine and make a fool of yourself, if you want. What difference does it make?
Even on a bad date, you can practice your conversation skills.
Use this to practice your ability to go out and have fun at the same time. Take out the arsenal of compromising questions that you have always wanted to ask and have never dared, invent a character, or better: try to have sex without commitment.
Live your life.
5. Be honest if you think you’re having an awkward date
Many times, talking about the problems you’re having during the date helps. If the two of you are having an awkward conversation, you both know it. It’s better to talk about it than to try not to think about the pink elephant (the date goes wrong, the date goes wrong, the date goes wrong) that has installed itself in both of your minds.
Sometimes admitting you’re in the middle of one of those awkward date moments can ease the tension.
On the other hand, if you are continually clumsy, it is better to admit that you are clumsy than to try to cover it up.
Say something like, “I’m so sorry. I’m really nervous. I haven’t been on a date in a long time, and I really enjoy talking to you, but I’m dumber than Mr. Bean.”
6. Don’t lie about a future date
There is nothing worse than not knowing what went wrong. If you’re in the middle of a date or at the end and you know it’s not going to work, let the other person know.
If you’re not interested in the person, try not to be too nice just so you don’t feel bad.
Say something like, “I’m having a good time, but I think we’re looking for different things. I’m leaving, thanks for everything. I hope you find the right person for you.”
Don’t make false promises about an upcoming date just to avoid an awkward date moment at the time.
7. End the date early
If you’ve decided you can’t be with this person, you can end the date early.
There are plenty of ways to do this, from having your friend call you with an “emergency” or sabotaging the date by talking about your crazy ex, to graphic details about your testicle surgery and how poorly you’re doing.
Although it is best to be honest: “Look, this is not working, I would prefer to leave.”
If you resort to the first options, keep in mind that Karma is a bastard and sooner or later ends up returning things.
8. Don’t tolerate bad behaviour
While it’s nice and adult to try and see if you can save the date, don’t tolerate bad behavior. Just because you said you were going to the date doesn’t mean you’re contractually obligated to stay the whole time. This is especially true if the person is misbehaving.
If your date is rude or misbehaves, you don’t have to stay.
If you feel uncomfortable or feel like you’re being attacked in any way, walk away without feeling guilty.
9. Think about your single friends
Your date may not be the right one for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right one for someone else. Are you sure you don’t know anyone to set her up with? Think of single friends you may have. Do any of them hit her? Everyone is looking for happiness and maybe you can help two other souls to find it.
10. Don’t blame yourself. Congratulate yourself
A big part of a first date is mental. If you have a bad date, you may feel like blaming yourself. Do not do it. Your date has become training for later dates, not the final of the dating world championship.
Remember awkward dates are a moment to learn about yourself and others.
Instead, you have to learn to compliment yourself and boost your self-esteem. “I’m glad I found out it wasn’t the right one for me before I wasted more time and money on it” or “At least I got out of my comfort zone and had the courage to cut the thing off in time.”
It doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. It will, but if you can learn to pat yourself on the back, it’s a lot easier to go out and get back together than if you start beating yourself up.
11. Learn to analyze yourself
Every time a date ends, ask yourself “What did I do right?” It can be many things: choosing a good place to have the date, making the girl laugh, coming up with good topics of conversation.
At the end of an awkward date think about things you could have done and that can be improved for next time.
You will always do something well and while it is good to want to improve, it is also very important that you congratulate yourself for what you did well. Then ask yourself, “What could I have done better?” Note that I have not said, “What have I done wrong?” The words we use, even in our own minds, can and do influence us unknowingly.
Don’t say you did something wrong.
However, think of some things you can do differently. Things like:
I shouldn’t have talked so much about myself.
I learned that asking about the past doesn’t usually work.
Or I would have kissed him on the lips instead of two on the cheek.
This way, after each date, you can see what you have done and improve it for the next one.
Okay, so you know what you have to do to make a first date memorable, but how do you know if a first date went well? Maybe your impression is not the same as your partner’s.
Eleven Signs a First Date Went Well
After flirting with a girl on Friends with Benefits and talking to her for a few days, you went on a first date. In the end, all you want to know is whether it went well or not.
However, you are not sure if the girl really had a good time or if she was just being polite.
There are people who resort to white lies so as not to offend…
Not that they teach this kind of things in school. So how can you tell if your first date was a success and if she wants to see you again?
We explain it below.
Eleven Signs a date went well
Sometimes, and for many reasons -although the main one is shyness- people say things without saying them directly.
That’s why you have to know how to read between the lines. Especially if we are talking about a first date.
Lets see ten signs a date went well:
1. She has not been distracted by things outside the date
One of the most curious properties of time, or our perception of it, is that if we are having a good time, it flies. On the contrary, if we are getting bored, it goes by very slowly.
So if you catch yourself -or you catch her- looking at the clock or distracted by things that have nothing to do with the date, like the cell phone, things are not going well.
2. Signs of a good first date: body language
The woman’s body speaks louder than words in many cases. If you want to know if the other person was interested in you, look at how their body behaves. If she leans towards you while you speak, if she looks at you in the eye and if she smiles or laughs when you say something.
So, on the contrary, if the date has felt short even though it was long, it is one of the signs of chemistry on first date
3. The goodbye
It is as important as the date itself. How did you say goodbye? Do not just pay attention to the words, because she can tell you the same thing whether she wants to see you again or if she does not want to hurt you and prefers not to go out with you again.
It’s better if you analyze if she decides to set a day for another date. Maybe she comments on things like a place she’d love to visit, a food she hasn’t tried, or a movie she hasn’t yet seen.
Those are signs a first date went well. Especially if you both talk about what day of the following week is good for both of you to see each other again, it would be logical to think that there will be a second date.
Someone who doesn’t want to see you again isn’t going to suggest new plans.
4. How do you know if your date went well: she starts the contact again
People generally don’t contact people they don’t want to communicate with. So if a couple of days after a first date she texts you to chat, that’s a good sign the date went well.
Positive messages, of course. If she sends you something like “please don’t contact me again in any way” it doesn’t matter if she initiates the contact.
It is what could be called a preventive message. Instead, if she asks you things like “Hi, how are you?” or “Hi, what are you doing?” that is a very good sign.
These kinds of messages are a way of telling you that they had a good time with you without saying it.
That’s the moment you realize it was worth all the time you spent chatting with her on the dating website where you met.
5. She laughs at your jokes
If she laughs at your jokes, it’s almost a sure sign of attraction. If she laughs at your jokes and you know very well that you are less funny than a dumb gravedigger, well, boy, it is clear, right?
Humor is almost always a sign of some kind of attraction and can make a first date very successful.
If she genuinely likes your sense of humor, she will want to see you again.
There is nothing better than laughter. It’s a sign that you’re having a good time. And that’s the point of a date: to have a good time.
6. She asks you out
This is a major problem and more common than you think. The problem is that many men don’t realize that, on many occasions, the way women ask men out is different. She won’t tell you directly that she wants to ask you out.
She’s much more likely to simply ask what you’re doing this weekend or mention an upcoming event.
She wants you to take it from there. Don’t let her down.
7. You kiss
If you went for the kiss and it was reciprocated, it means that she wanted to kiss you and, therefore, it is a way of telling if your first date went well.
This should be obvious, but it is not. You have no idea how many guys don’t understand that a girl won’t kiss a guy back if she doesn’t like him that much.
Nowadays, the best thing to do is to ask. It may seem strange and childish to older people to ask if you can kiss them, but that’s the way it is now.
And it’s OK.
At one point, asking -be original- if you can kiss her, will make you seem tender, polite, vulnerable and sure of yourself at the same time.
Also, a polite “this is not the time” is much better than having them turn their face away or back down, which is pretty humiliating and always forces a “sorry” that will cut it short. And a lot.
8. You hear through a third party
So how do I know if a date went well ? The answer is simple. One of your mutual friends telling you that she told her she had a great time.
That’s a successful first date.
If you have a friend in common and she is the one who gives you the news, it is a great sign that she likes you and things are really serious but your date is too shy to admit it, or has doubts about whether you feel the same.
It’s time to seduce that woman with all your weapons, go for her.
Social networks are hotbeds of information, direct and indirect. If your date starts giving you likes and hearts, it may be a sign that they like you and want to go on a second date.
Beware, not all the people who give you likes or hearts are trying to tell you something beyond that they like a specific publication.
On the other hand, if she sends you private messages to talk to you, that’s another good sign.
10. She is everywhere
If you never saw her anywhere before and now you run into her from time to time in the places you normally frequent, it is a sign that she likes you, therefore, the first date went well.
The exception to this is if, for some reason – new job, moving house – she lives closer to you now.
Even if it’s a lot of chances, it can happen.
11. You no longer see her on our Friends With Benefits dating site
If you met through our page and you see that she no longer connects, she is not interested in meeting new people. And that really is a sign of a great first date…
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